I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
