There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
