Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
