I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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