This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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