Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
