K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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