jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
She swung at the pinata with crutches
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
