I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
