I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Randomize
