I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
