Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
