I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
