It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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