I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
