i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
