i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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