So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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