If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
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