Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
