i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
