where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
