Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
