I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
