Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
