dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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