Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
