You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
