She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
