wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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