I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
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