I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
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