I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
