another moral hangover. fuck.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize
