after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
