I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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