i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
