i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
