Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize