Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
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