i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
