Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
