The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize