Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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