I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
