Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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