My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
