i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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