So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
