He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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