she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
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